Breaking Through Trauma - A Journey of Strength & Resilience
Trauma is something that most of us experience at some point in our life. Leaving us feeling overwhelmed, and disconnected from loved ones, and even causing us trauma-related physical and mental health issues. It is important to normalize trauma, and stop seeing it as something shameful or embarrassing: something that happens to others and not to us. In this article, we will explore how trauma affects our lives and how we can take steps toward healing and moving forward.
What Exactly is Trauma?
Trauma is a placeholder word for any experience that creates a marker in our being that shifts us into distorting reality so that we can no longer see the truth of our own inherent worthiness. It overwhelms our capacity to cope, either in a single event or through repeated events over time.
Trauma can be anything - as simple as misinterpreting an action your parents took and internalizing it. Ie. you showed your parent(s) something you were proud of and they didn’t notice or maybe they laughed. Or it can be something more serious, like experiencing a natural disaster, an accident, illness, violence, or abuse. It can also occur from witnessing trauma or hearing about the trauma experienced by others.
Why It is Important to Bring Awareness to This Topic?
It is critical to bring awareness to trauma because it can have a significant impact on our mental and physical health, relationships, and overall well-being. It can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, disconnection from loved ones, trauma-related behaviors or addictions, and physical health issues.
How Trauma Creates Shame in Our Lives
Trauma can create shame in our lives by making us feel like we are not worthy or capable of being loved and accepted. We may become filled with self-doubt and self-criticism, feeling ashamed for not being strong enough to cope with the experience. We may also feel ashamed of our feelings, believing that these experiences make us damaged or less than perfect. This can lead to feelings of low self-worth, guilt, and trauma-related behaviors going so far as substance abuse and other addictions.
The Rabbit Stew
When I was 6 years old, I lived on a farm and was deeply connected to the farm animals, wild animals and nature. I named all the animals and spent all the time I could outdoors playing in nature and being as near to the animals as I could.
My very first childhood friend lived around the corner and one day I was spending the night at her house, her dad cooked rabbit stew. This horrified the 6-year-old me because for me animals were my friends.
I was very upset and distressed and shared this with my friend whose father was offended (likely because his own trauma and shame were triggered). Because what he did next indicated he was not compassionate about my experience. Her dad actually forced me to eat the rabbit stew, which caused me to feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
I felt like I had done something wrong by trying the stew, and it was difficult for me to reconcile that experience. As an adult, I have been able to take a step back and recognize that this event wasn't my fault, and it doesn't make me any less worthy or capable of being loved and accepted.
How Trauma Can Be Overcome
Trauma can be overcome by identifying it and talking about your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or coach. Getting professional help if needed, and seeking trauma-informed treatment. It is also essential to use self-care practices such as mindfulness, journaling, exercise, and getting enough sleep. It can be helpful to practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises. Additionally, it may be beneficial to join trauma support groups where you can connect with people who have had similar traumatic experiences. Finally, an important keystone in overcoming trauma is learning to accept yourself, being kinder to yourself, and making an internal personal commitment to working on overcoming trauma.
The rabbit stew experience did create some blockages in my mind-body system, I was able to sort through them (mostly) with my mother, and some residual energy from this situation compounded with other happenings on the farm combined to undermine my confidence and self-esteem. (Trying to segway into trauma is insidious and you may be unaware of it even as you are reading this.)
Insidious Trauma undermines you because it is unprocessed.
Warning Signs That You or Someone is Not Properly Processing Trauma
Signs that someone is not properly processing trauma include difficulty in trusting others, feeling disconnected and isolated from family and friends, avoidance of trauma-related conversations or activities, feelings of guilt or shame related to trauma, developing trauma-related behaviors such as compulsive behaviors or addictions, and trauma-related physical symptoms such as insomnia, chronic headaches or gastrointestinal issues. To mention a few.
How to Help Someone Through Trauma
When helping someone through trauma, it is important to provide a safe and supportive environment. This can include offering understanding and compassion, active listening without judgment, validating their emotions, and understanding the trauma from their perspective. It can also be helpful for the person who is providing support to be trauma-informed so that they have an understanding of the specific trauma and its effects.
Is There An Upside to Trauma?
Trauma can teach us many important lessons about life and resilience. It can help us recognize our strengths and weaknesses, understand how trauma affects us, and develop a sense of self-awareness. It is an opportunity to learn how to cope with adversity and trauma-related triggers, as well as strengthen relationships with those who have been impacted.
By bringing awareness to trauma, we can begin to understand it better, work towards healing from trauma, and create a world where trauma is no longer seen as something shameful or embarrassing but instead something that can be overcome with support from those around us.
I want to underscore that trauma can be a gift, many famous people have turned their trauma into an overcoming story. They have used the painful experience to ascend on their spiritual journey.
For me, the rabbit stew situation was a gift -- one to learn resilience and standing up for my beliefs, values and opinions regarding animals and in general!
Your Challenge
Look at a place where you are triggered and have been repeatedly bothered.
(Here is an example, someone was talking to me about a trigger regarding politics and how he felt controlled in his business. This continues to come up in conversations after many years and he seems almost incapable of controlling himself as he discusses it, not to mention overcoming the situation.)Ask yourself, how does it feel/what do I think/what happens when I am bothered by this?
Make a note of it somewhere and reflect on this. (In the above example, I asked, “where else does someone seemingly having power over you show up?”)
And then ask yourself, “when is the earliest time you can remember this happening?” (In our example, as I ask this question, a light bulb moment went off and he could remember his parents trying to control him and how he felt he couldn’t be himself growing up.)
Often, this simple act of making a connection and bringing awareness to the root of our issue will go a long way toward beginning to dissipate the trauma. (In our example, there was now a connection regarding where his trauma came from, and he went off to reflect, journal and meditate on how he can resolve this conflict within himself.)
Remember, this is a process, a journey, not a simple overnight “I’ve arrived at 5D Reality!” and I am done with my spiritual leadership growth.
From the example, what really mattered was that he was not being himself, not living his truth because of this deep rooted trauma. There was no way he could be in 5D Reality while living out this old story again of being controlled by others. It made him act inauthentically and irrationally and it impacted others around him in negative ways.
When you shine light on the darkness, it dissipates and you are able to see and live your truth, your authentic life and be free of whatever unconscious behaviors control you.