Overcoming The Burden of Toxic Guilt & Shame: Learning to Let Go
Feeling the weight of guilt and shame can be a heavy burden. Learning how to let go and live a life free of these unhealthy feelings is the path to true freedom and peace of mind. In this blog post, we'll cover tips and strategies for understanding, dealing with, and letting go of toxic feelings of guilt and shame in order to reclaim your happiness and ascend in your 5D awakening.
What Causes Guilt?
Think of it as the morality police of your mind. Guilt can come knocking on the door of your emotions for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you did something that went against your personal code of ethics, or perhaps society's rules. Maybe you failed to live up to your own expectations, or those of someone else. Or maybe you're just a big softie who cares about others and feels guilty when you think you've let them down. However it happens, guilt is like the hall monitor of the heart, keeping us in check and making sure we stay on the straight and narrow.
The 3 Types of Guilt
1. Natural Guilt
Natural guilt is a feeling of remorse or regret that arises as a result of our own actions or behavior that we believe goes against our moral or ethical values. It is a healthy and normal response that helps us maintain a sense of accountability for our actions and serves as a reminder to make better choices in the future.
For example, if someone cheats, they may feel guilty about their behavior and the impact it had on their integrity and the trust others have in them.
2. Toxic Guilt/Shame
Toxic guilt/shame, on the other hand, is a type of guilt that is excessive, debilitating, and not proportional to the situation. It often arises from external factors such as societal expectations, pressure from others, or internalized negative beliefs and self-criticism. This type of guilt and shame can become all-consuming, leading to feelings of worthlessness and a constant need for self-punishment.
For example, someone may feel guilty for not visiting their elderly parent often enough, despite having a demanding job and other responsibilities, due to societal expectations and internalized beliefs.
3. Existential Guilt
Existential guilt refers to a feeling of guilt and shame that arise from our own existence and the impact we have on the world and others. This type of guilt often stems from larger philosophical questions about the meaning of life, the purpose of our existence, and our responsibility to others.
For example, someone may feel guilty about the amount of resources they consume and the impact it has on the environment, leading them to question their lifestyle and their role in the world.
Is Guilt a Selfish Emotion?
It's a bit of a two-faced Janus. On one hand, it can stem from a desire to protect one's own ego and avoid negative consequences. But on the other hand, it can also be driven by a noble sense of responsibility towards others, leading to actions that put their needs first. So, you could say that guilt is selfish... or selfless... or a little bit of both!
Is Guilt a Feeling of Anxiety?
Guilt can be related to anxiety, but they are different emotions. In some cases, feelings of guilt can intensify feelings of anxiety, leading to a vicious cycle of worry and self-criticism.
The Guilt Trip
A "guilt trip" is like a free ticket to Emotional Manipulation. It's when someone tries to make you feel guilty for something, with the goal of getting you to do what they want. They might use tears, pouts, or pointed looks to make you feel responsible or ashamed for something. It's like they're saying "If you really loved me, you would do this." Sound familiar? Guilt trips can be found in all sorts of relationships, from family to friends to co-workers. But here's the good news: you don't have to accept this behavior! Recognize when someone is trying to lay a guilt trip on you and have the courage to say no.
Do Toxic Guilt & Shame Go Away Over Time?
Nope. Toxic guilt and shame are those uninvited guests who just won't leave. You can try to ignore them, but they just keep coming back, nagging at you and making you feel worse. You see, when toxic guilt and shame go unaddressed, they grow and fester like mold in a dark corner. The longer you ignore them, the more toxic they become, eating away at your self-esteem and happiness.
Unprocessed toxic guilt/shame can also lead to feelings of self-blame, which can further damage your mental well-being and overall sense of self-worth. When you are unable to forgive yourself or make amends, feelings of toxic guilt can become a constant source of distress and negative self-talk.
How Do You Clear Toxic Guilt/Shame?
Surrender and acknowledge the guilt: The first step in clearing guilt is to recognize and acknowledge the feeling. This involves becoming aware of what caused the guilt and understanding the impact it has on you.
Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your actions and make amends if necessary. This may involve apologizing, compensating for any harm caused, or simply expressing remorse.
Forgive yourself: Self-forgiveness is a key aspect of clearing guilt. This involves letting go of the past, accepting that everyone makes mistakes, and being kind to yourself.
Move on and focus on the present.
Seek support: Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or coach can help you work through your feelings and gain perspective.
Here is Your Challenge
1. Write down a specific feeling of guilt that you have been carrying around.
2. Apologize to the person you think you have wronged. Write a letter, call them, visit them, just do it! Even if a long time has passed. There are no excuses. If the person is not around anymore then speak out the apology into the room.
3. Every morning for as long as it takes, sit still and repeat the following affirmation 4 times:
"I am worthy of forgiveness and I release myself from past mistakes. I choose to focus on the present and move forward with compassion and understanding towards myself."
4. During your day start observing how the weight of guilt dissipates and allow yourself to create more freely.
It's important to keep in mind that clearing toxic guilt/shame can take time and may require ongoing effort. But by addressing your feelings and taking steps to work through them, it is possible to find a sense of resolution and peace.