Unleashing The Weight of Toxic Secrets
Secrets… we all have them, and we all keep them. Did you know that your secrets have the power to create toxicity and make you sick? Physically, mentally and spiritually. Secrets even have the power to taint your family system or your company organizationally. In this blog post, we are going to dive into our secrets to unearth them, let them go, and create health and empowerment from them.
What is a Secret?
What is a secret? Seems like it’s a no-brainer, right? There are different kinds of secrets.
There is the kind of secret you keep about yourself, something inside of you, and choose not to share it with others, sometimes for fear of what would happen if you did share it. Or perhaps you share it with just one other confidante though it is still classified as “secret”.
Or a secret could be when someone trusts you with some part of themselves and you aren’t supposed to share it with others. This could be something they need to get off their chest or a part of them that they don’t want anyone else to know.
And last, there are secrets that we keep in order to protect our loved ones. We’ve seen this played out in movies time and again – the parent who doesn’t tell the child they were adopted or a suitor who doesn’t share that he knew who the girl was all along, and their meeting wasn’t a chance.
Here’s the thing: There are healthy secrets and toxic secrets. Toxic secrets can take up energy and have the power to slowly poison like cyanide – sometimes without your being away of it happening.
Some things we can and should keep to ourselves as they are a part of our inner world or have been entrusted to us to hold and create space for.
We don’t have to share everything about ourselves with everyone. Or, even to our closest partner. It’s healthy to have an inner world that is ours and ours alone. Provided this is not hurting or harming anyone else.
BUT secrets can impact our mental and physical health. They can also damage our relationships with others. When we keep secrets from those we love and trust, it can create a sense of disconnection and isolation. It's like building a wall around yourself, keeping everyone out, and locking yourself in a lonely fortress.
When Does a Secret Become Toxic?
How do you know when a secret becomes toxic? It’s very simple really. Yet, it can be challenging to be honest with oneself about when it becomes toxic and time to let it go.
A secret is toxic when you hold onto it because you have built up fear around revealing it and the fear and fear alone is driving you to keep it. When you hold so tightly for fear of shame, being judged or perhaps it has become a habit to keep long after its’ purpose.
For example, a while ago I revealed a “secret” I had been keeping in order to protect someone’s feelings. For so long, I was unsure if it was the right time to share it. The truth is that there wasn’t a right time.
I’m not going to say it was easy to share, but now that it is over and I’ve had some space, I can see that it has been so healing and powerful in a way that I had not anticipated. It released energy that I had been devoting to keeping the secret, more energy than I imagined and that I can now focus elsewhere.
Secrets & Spirituality
How does sharing secrets relate to your awakening journey? Secrets support your ascension process because when you share and heal secrets, your consciousness rises.
I finally shared that secret that I had been keeping for a long time because it was time. I keep it long after it was time to share and after having shared it in an appropriate way, I feel lighter and freer and though it wasn’t easy, in the long term, it was much healthier for all parties involved.
I feel lighter and more authentic. In a word, freedom is what has been created. I bound myself to this secret and made it a part of who I AM. Now that it is behind me, I am more able to be my true I AM.
When you share your secrets, you will feel the burden, the heaviness that weighs you down be lifted from your shoulders. You create trust, connection and a deeper level of awareness of the truth: you are enough, and you don’t need to fear the truth or revealing the truth.
Should I Share All My Secrets?
No. Again, it’s healthy to keep a healthy inner world.
And some of these things in your inner world can still be shared in confidence with a therapist coach or some other professional and still be kept secret and also allowing you to shift it to get some perspective and possibly shift from unhealthy to healthy secret.
Which secrets you should share are up to you. No one can tell you what to share or when it is time. If you take some time to get real with yourself and unearth
How to Let Go of Toxic Secrets
It's time to break down those walls and release the weight of our secrets. Here are some steps you can take to let go of toxic secrets:
Acknowledge the secret. Admit to yourself what you've been holding onto and why. It could be something in your family, with your partner or even in your organization. (Perhaps you have been taking the last cup of coffee at the office & haven’t shared that with anyone. Start small & as you create more energy with each secret, you can tackle bigger secrets)
Seek support. Find someone you trust to confide in and seek support from. Whether it's a friend, family member, therapist, or support group, don't try to go it alone.
Take responsibility. If your secret has hurt others, it's important to take responsibility for your actions and apologize. It's not easy, but it's necessary for healing.
Let go of shame. Holding onto shame and guilt can keep you trapped in the past. It's time to release those negative feelings and move forward.
Forgive yourself. It's important to forgive yourself for any mistakes you've made. We all make mistakes, and we all deserve compassion and forgiveness.
In conclusion, keeping secrets can be like carrying a heavy backpack of emotional weight. It's time to take off that backpack, unpack the secrets, and let them go. By acknowledging the secret, seeking support, taking responsibility, letting go of shame, and forgiving ourselves, we can start to heal and move forward, feeling lighter and happier than ever before.
Your Challenge:
Take a look at a few of your secrets
Ask yourself, which ones are becoming unhealthy, and can you let go of them in some way?
Plan and prepare. Reflect on what outcome you’d want to create by sharing. Do some work to forgive yourself and clean up this secret container.
Share the secret in a way that forges a new, stronger container for you and all parties involved.