Corona Creates Containers
Corona Creates Containers
I know we’ve talked briefly about containers before, regarding family vacations and summer breaks. With what is going on in the world, this topic is worth visiting again. Especially since we are all stuck in a very physical container – a little box where we live, and some of us may even feel trapped.
Picture a container such as a wicker basket that is woven together so carefully that even though it is made from reed, it can hold water without leaking. Relationship containers with people are just like that. They are invisible baskets we carry with us that hold all of our relationship stuff. To be clear, we are always creating relationship containers either consciously or unconsciously.
Relationshp containers can either be a strong, safe “place” to hold what we need, or they can be leaky, weak, and fall apart. A container is a space where your life happens, and the strength of the container is what determines ‘how’ life unfolds.
Does my life and my relationships sometime happen in chaos? If I’m being 100% honest with you, sometimes it does. That indicates a hastily put together container. And sometimes it’s put together with thought and care, and it creates strong, deep relationships and meaningful connection between me and others.
So here’s how to start creating strong relationship containers:
1. Think about a relationship, perhaps a newer one that doesn’t have a lot of history or emotional charge to start. (For me that is my business partner.)
2. Reflect on what you actually want in the relationship. (Ultimately what I seek is connection.)
3. Ask yourself what you need to be able to do that. (I want to be authentic and speak my truth without being judged.)
4. Ask & listen for what they want in the relationship container. (For her, she said she wants….. And I Actively Listen.)
5. Then and only then, you bring your own request to the relationship and ask for what you need; create an agreement in the relationship. (For us that means, if we lose connection, we agree to not blame, just recover to the present moment and clean up if we need to)
Remember: Containers are dynamic! These conversations aren’t one and done.
Does it sound like a lot of work? Yes, it is. And, it’s a lot of work to have a container that will eventually leak, seep out, ruin the wicker, and ultimately destroy the basket. No more container. What does the relationship look like then? How does the workload look then? It’s much more efficient and rewarding to create a durable container right now.
I almost got through this whole post without typing the word Corona or COVID19 one time, did you notice that?! Well, what in the world do containers have to do with Corona?
See, we have an opportunity right now. COVID 19 has created a forced Pause for the entire planet. And, in a way unlike any other time in history, we have “time” to choose what we want to focus on. We can choose to work on strong relationship containers that are sustainable during this time. The opportunity is to get really intentional about creating what we want in our lives and our relationships. This is the time for us to be clear about how we want to impact our communities and the world around us. And that starts with us and our containers.
Are you walking around with a leaky container with yourself, your relationships, and in your community? Whether that is with zoom calls with your family, at dinner, or on Facebook? It all starts with the container that you are creating right now. And we are now clear on a global scale, that one person can literally impact the world. What impact will you choose?
My challenge to you today is to choose one relationship and have a conversation where you discuss your container how you might strengthen that container.
