Monkey Mind: How to stop the mental chatter - Week #30 of the Awakening Journey
The obstacle to our peace and tranquility is our ever racing, never still mind, our mental chatter. I can’t tell you how many people come to me and say “I can’t meditate because my mind is always going.” Heads up: It’s not just YOUR mind. It’s in everyone's mind.
What is a Monkey Mind?
Monkey mind or mind monkey, from the Chinese compound xīnyuán and the Sino-Japanese compound shin'en 心猿 [lit. "heart-/mind-monkey"], is a Buddhist term meaning "unsettled; restless; capricious; whimsical; fanciful; inconstant; confused; indecisive; uncontrollable".
What causes Monkey Mind?
A lot of the time, monkey mind is caused by our thoughts disagreeing with what's going on. Or, in other words, there's a contrast or even a disconnect between our thoughts and our surroundings. When the present moment doesn't align with what your monkey mind wants, your monkey mind begins to spin out of control.
What’s wrong with Monkey Mind
Monkey Mind sounds fun. A friend recently said “I tend to be dramatic.” And the way it was said, it sort of sounded like “I kind of like drama.” Monkey mind is in the drama triangle which keeps us locked in as a persecutor, rescuer or victim.
We get confused. Lost. We think we are our monkey mind. It runs us and rules us. We are identified with it. We don’t have control over it.
And then, when we feel out of control, it is natural that we try to control things.
My story: Monkey Mind & Control
My monkey mind used to rule me and control me.
When my daughter was born, as a new mom, I was terrified in many ways. Thoughts about how I wanted to be the best mom would run rampant through my mind. I would do all the right things and give the baby everything she needed.
And my monkey mind would list all the things I needed to “do” in order to be the best mom I could be.
One way I controlled was by charting everything from when my baby had her feeding times to how much she slept, even to her bowel movements. At first, this seemed to tame my monkey mind, or at least focus it a little. But it wasn’t long until the focus shifted to something else and the monkey mind was off again. This time my monkey mind fixated on why the chart was the problem.
This is just one example of the monkey mind jumping like a little primate from thought to thought, worry to worry. Just like a monkey jumps from tree to tree. This happens every day seemingly in every moment. In peoples’ lives from their relationships to their financial concerns to their careers.
What can you do about Monkey Mind
Learn to meditate
Mindfulness - Pay attention to the present moment on purpose
Color, count, recite or run - adult coloring books, counting your breath, reciting a mantra or go for a run and let the repetitive footsteps soothe your monkey mind
Talk to someone and/or journal
Get out of your head by helping someone - volunteer or just do something nice for someone else
Practice acceptance - begin to just accept your thoughts and let them go.
What happens when you play with the Monkey Mind?
Peace. Balance. Harmony. Lightness. Energy. Reduced stress and anxiety. Playfulness. Joy. More space for the things you want.
Our minds are incredible tools, capable of great things.
In fact, watching the monkey mind can be quite fun and enjoyable. Like watching monkeys in the zoo play with one another.
Your Practice:
Watch this video by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
Embrace the Monkey Mind:
Simply become aware of your mind.
Notice what thoughts are automatic and what thoughts are “consciously chosen by you”.
Then, let the thoughts go by. Imagining each one is a cloud floating away.
Next, we will talk about Nature, in the meanwhile remember the present moment is where your best life happens.
With love, presence and gratitude,
Darla