Fear: How it keeps you trapped in a prison - Week #7 of The Awakening Journey
Today we are going to talk about the thing no one wants to talk about: fear and specifically the fear of death. Fear is one of the most powerful and primitive human emotions. While rational and primal fears protect us from imminent threats and danger, irrational fear is the one that doesn’t make sense and can vary greatly from person to person. It’s the one that limits us from living a fulfilled life and from achieving our goals.
Let’s take a closer look at fear and its roots so we can learn how to not let it control us.
How does fear work?
Fear can interrupt processes in our brains that allow us to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues and other information presented to us, reflect before acting, and act ethically.
This impacts our thinking and decision-making in negative ways, leaving us susceptible to intense emotions and impulsive reactions. And much of the time it is acting in the background without us even being aware of it.
Fear can be a learned behavior
Irrational fear is often a learned behavior that we unconsciously develop over time. When I moved into my first apartment in an old building in Cleveland. When I came home at night, I kept seeing these bugs in the kitchen. Having grown up on a farm, I wasn’t particularly alarmed by bugs. It was almost normal and I didn’t see any harm in them.
One day, I happened to be talking to my mom and I mentioned these bugs and she freaked out. “Darla, those are cockroaches, they are dirty nasty things!” Her emotion was so intense that I took some of it on. After that interaction with her, I had an issue with cockroaches.
I’m sure you can think of examples in your own life, where a perfectly normal thing became something you feared. Maybe it was induced by another person, the media, or something you just made up in your mind… Fear can often be imagined and completely blown out of proportion.
Realizing that some of our fears are irrational, learned behaviors will make it easier for you to move past them.
Do you fear what could happen?
We fear the future, but we are only living in THIS moment. So thinking of and fearing what could happen puts us in a prison of our own making.
I’m not saying don’t be afraid or that ignorance is ok. I’m saying bring awareness to how fear is controlling you and accept that the only thing you can really control is YOU.
You can’t control the world’s politics, the economy, natural disasters, or a pandemic. What you can control is how YOU react to it, deal with it, and of course, your impact on the world.
Fear of what’s next is pointless if you accept that you are in charge of your own feelings and that you can’t control the actions of others only your own.
“Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?” Rumi
Fear of death
One of the biggest most powerful human fears is the fear of death. In fact, it’s at the root of all of our other fears, anxieties, and even phobias. Once we become aware of this, we can see how our ego is running a racket.
Fear of death is bullshit (pardon my language).
You can't cheat death.
You are going to die.
In reality, you are dying right now and so am I. So, why do we fear death so much? Why do we, especially in western culture, spend so much energy denying its existence?
When you unconsciously act out of fear, you are in the drama triangle. you step on your values, and you are operating out of scarcity.
Accepting the fact that death is inevitable will awaken you and it will illuminate a blind spot.
When you awaken to how you are operating from fear, you can make choices that are from a creatively aligned state.
"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." Master Yoda
This week’s challenge:
Step 1:
Write down what is bothering you in the world right now.
What around you has you triggered or upset?
Maybe even what are you afraid of?
Step 2:
Ask yourself, how might fear be driving my thoughts or actions on this?
How is this fear affecting my decision-making process?
Step 3:
Ask yourself, what would my life look like if I wouldn’t operate out of a position of fear?
Next, we will talk about Projection. In the meanwhile remember: the present moment is where your best life happens!
With love and gratitude,
Darla