Unmasking the Fine: Embracing Vulnerability for True Emotional Wellness

In life, there are often moments when circumstances make it difficult to genuinely admit to ourselves how we're feeling. Whether it's a loved one's illness, the responsibilities of parenting, running a business, or caring for aging parents, we often convince ourselves that we need to be strong and selfless. We think we are fine, we want to be fine and we tell others we are fine. However, it's crucial to acknowledge our own struggles and vulnerabilities. In this blog post, I’ll show you the transformative power of embracing your true emotions and finding solace in being present even when nothing is going as planned.

The day I realized I wasn’t fine…

I vividly remember the moment. It was during a very challenging time when someone close to me was diagnosed with a severe illness. At first, I was worried about them and just wanted to be there for them. I convinced myself that I was fine, but beneath the surface, I felt numb. 

It wasn't until I found myself running out of gas in my RV, a moment of complete distraction and very unlike me, that I paused to reflect on what was truly happening. I slowed myself down (literally because my RV came to a full stop in the middle of nowhere) and had an honest conversation with myself and admitted, "I am not fine." 

Just speaking out those words released a weight I didn't even realize I was carrying. 

It's okay not to be fine, to acknowledge when things aren't going well. Embracing vulnerability became my path to self-discovery and a deeper understanding of the power of authenticity and self-care.

Here are a few of my learnings that I love to share with my clients:

1. Embrace your feelings

Instead of dismissing your emotions and pretending everything is okay, give yourself permission to feel. Whether it's worry, fear, or sadness, acknowledging your emotions allows you to process them in a healthy way. It is not selfish to have feelings; it is part of being human.  And when you set a strong intention, it takes only 90 seconds to release emotions that instead we hold onto for years or even a lifetime!

2. Prioritize Self-Care 

While it's natural to focus on the well-being of others, it's equally important to address your own needs. Neglecting yourself only leads to numbness and eventually impacts our ability to be fully present for others.

3. Release the Emotional Burden 

We often associate vulnerability with weakness, but in reality, it can be a tremendous source of strength. Admitting that you're not fine and sharing your struggles with others can create deeper connections. The act of speaking our truth releases emotional burdens and allows others to understand and empathize with our experiences.

4. Move from Victimhood to Empowerment 

Acknowledging that you're not fine doesn't mean surrendering. On the contrary, it is an affirmation of your resilience and a recognition that you have power over your own life. 

5. Embrace Presence and Imperfection

Being present in the midst of tough times is a challenging but powerful practice. Accepting that some aspects of your life may not be perfect while still choosing to be fully engaged in the present moment will bring peace and clarity. 

Our society often glorifies strength, selflessness, and resilience at the expense of acknowledging our feelings and that’s why it is essential to reframe our perspective. Embracing vulnerability and honestly admitting when we're not fine is not a sign of weakness but a testament to our rising consciousness. 

Liberate yourself from the burden of always needing to be fine and allow yourself the grace to navigate life with honesty.

Your Challenge

1. Set aside daily moments for self-reflection and ask yourself, "How am I really feeling today?" Allow yourself to go beyond the default response of "I'm fine." 

2. Be honest and open to whatever emotions surface. Write them down in a journal without judgment.

3. Consider the impact of these emotions on your well-being.

4. Share your feelings with a trusted friend, coach, or community.

5. Notice any shifts in self-awareness. Reflect on what you've learned and integrate this practice into your life.