Embrace Your Inner Weirdo & Find True Belonging
In a society that often values conformity and fitting in, it's easy to feel like an outsider if you don't quite fit the mold. Being different is often seen as a negative construct, something to be avoided or hidden away. Most people fear being different and yearn for a sense of belonging, desperately searching for a place where they can feel accepted and understood. Now, what if I told you that being different, being weird, is not something to be ashamed of? It's something to be celebrated. By embracing your differences, you tap into an unstoppable flow of creativity and self-expression that can lead to profound personal growth and deeper connections.
Why Do We Want to Belong?
Ah, the irresistible urge to belong! It's woven into the very fabric of our human nature, sprouting from our primal survival instincts, emotional cravings, and the burning desire for social identity. Joining a group not only shields us from danger but also opens the doors to resources and assures us that we're “worth” something. It satisfies our emotional need for love, acceptance, and connection, shaping our sense of self and providing a framework for understanding our place in the world.
A great example of our innate need to belong is sports franchises like the NFL. They offer a ticket to a ready-made community, where fans unite under a common logo, colors, and obsession for victory. Cheering for a team becomes a shared experience that bonds strangers, creating a tribe that celebrates triumphs, laments defeat and engages in lively debates. If you have ever been greeted with the question, did you watch the game last night? Then you know what I mean. Those conversations simply foster a sense of connection.
The Price of Diluted Authenticity
Now, here is the thing. Experiencing belonging in a group is great and if you are a fan of XYZ I celebrate you. But there is also a dark side to belonging: it’s when we try to belong at all costs. We may find temporary acceptance, but it comes with the price of sacrificing our authenticity. When we hide our opinions or quirks and try to fit in, we become a diluted version of ourselves, never truly connecting with others on a deeper level. Never being our real selves.
Many creative minds struggle with this dilemma. Pablo Picasso who conformed to artistic traditions at the beginning of his career, soon grew restless and felt confined. He embarked on a path of self-discovery and artistic experimentation leading him to a new artistic style called Cubism which revolutionized the art world.
Now, we are not all Picassos but each of us has something special to offer, a combination of experiences, interests, and perspectives that no one else possesses. Our differences are the threads that weave the rich tapestry of humanity. Embracing them allows us to fully express ourselves, explore uncharted territories, and contribute to the world in a way that only we can. In other words, the world needs your weirdness.
Breaking Free from the Outskirts: Finding Your Inner Belonging
Consider the story of a client, who always felt on the outskirts of things, longing for a sense of belonging. Feeling blocked from finding her people, we decided to take a different approach. Together, we embarked on a journey to release the barriers holding her back, and to let go of the fear of being different. In an exercise, I challenged her to put up her metaphorical billboard. After a release exercise followed by some playful creation time, she created a “billboard” claiming herself ready to belong, ready to find her people.
The transformation that emerged was remarkable. Within hours, out of seemingly nowhere, an invitation arrived. A community emerged: a group of like-minded individuals who not only accepted her for who she was but celebrated her uniqueness. By embracing her differences, she not only found her inner belonging but attracted the very people who resonated with her true self.
She found herself shifting. Where before she couldn’t find just one person in her community, let alone clients, she got out the Now Wow packet she advertised on her billboard and hosted her first retreat of eight people.
“When we embrace our differences, we radiate a magnetic energy that attracts those who appreciate us for who we are.”
Actionable Steps to Embrace Your Weirdness
Own your quirkiness: Embrace your unique qualities as a source of power. Acknowledge that being different is what makes you awesome. Wear your uniqueness with pride!
Dance to your own beat: Break free from the need for validation from others. Let go of the dance of conformity and create your own moves. Be confident in expressing yourself, without worrying about fitting into a mold.
Find your tribe of fellow oddballs: Seek out communities that celebrate individuality and share your interests and values. Join online forums, attend quirky events, or explore local groups where you can connect with like-minded souls who appreciate and support your weirdness.
Cultivate connections with cheerleaders: Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you to embrace your true self. Seek out friends, mentors, or role models who encourage your craziest ideas and unique talents.
Celebrate your journey: Embracing your differences is a lifelong adventure. Be kind to yourself along the way and celebrate each step, no matter how small. Embrace the joy of self-expression and watch as your tribe of fellow weirdos gravitates towards your authentic energy.