BEING as a Tool for Managing Anxiety
Anxiety often feels like it sweeps in uninvited, taking over our thoughts, tightening our muscles, and speeding up our heart rates. Whether it’s a racing mind before a big meeting or a deep sense of unease that seems to come out of nowhere, anxiety can be a challenging companion. But instead of trying to outrun it or push it aside, what if we tried a different approach? Practicing BEING offers a way to meet anxiety with presence and calm, allowing us to manage it in a more sustainable way.
The Power of BEING During Anxiety
I once coached a client, a high-performing executive, who was constantly battling anxiety. She had become an expert at burying her emotions beneath a mountain of tasks, telling herself that as long as she kept moving, the anxiety couldn’t catch up. But it always did. The more she suppressed her emotions, the stronger they grew, until one day, everything came to a head.
Her breaking point happened during a board meeting. As she was presenting, she suddenly felt a wave of anxiety hit her hard—her throat tightened, her mind went blank, and her chest felt like it was caving in. She barely made it through the presentation. Afterward, she locked herself in her office, fighting back tears, feeling like she was on the verge of a breakdown. That moment made her realize that powering through anxiety was no longer an option. Something had to change.
During our sessions, we worked on the concept of BEING—the practice of staying present with emotions, no matter how uncomfortable. I remember her sharing an experience soon after when anxiety hit her again. She had an important deadline looming, and her mind was racing with worst-case scenarios. Normally, she would have thrown herself into work to numb the feeling, but this time, she decided to do something different.
She paused, sat down, and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and tuned into her body—the tightness in her chest, the shallow breathing, the heat rising to her face. Instead of resisting it, she allowed herself to fully feel it without judgment. To her surprise, after just a few minutes of being present with her anxiety, she felt a noticeable shift. The tightness in her chest began to ease, her breath slowed, and the overwhelming sense of panic began to dissolve.
That moment was a breakthrough. She realized that she didn’t have to be consumed by her anxiety. By practicing BEING, she could meet it with presence and acceptance, which ultimately allowed her to navigate anxious moments with greater calm and clarity.
Why BEING Reduces the Need for Control
One of the hallmarks of anxiety is the desire for control—control over the future, control over outcomes, control over uncertainty. This craving for control often makes anxiety worse because the truth is, we can’t control everything. Life is unpredictable, and the more we resist that, the more anxious we become.
BEING teaches us to let go of the need to control everything and instead focus on the present moment. When we practice BEING, we shift our attention from what might happen to what is happening. It’s a subtle but powerful change. Instead of worrying about the unknown, we root ourselves in the only thing we truly have control over: our own awareness and presence.
For example, if you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming presentation, BEING invites you to stop thinking about all the possible outcomes and focus on how you’re feeling in the moment. Are you tense? Breathe into that tension. Is your mind racing? Notice those thoughts without getting tangled in them. By grounding yourself in the present, you let go of the need to control the future and simply allow yourself to be in the now.
Practical Steps to Begin Practicing BEING with Anxiety
Pause and Breathe: The next time you feel anxiety creeping in, pause for a moment. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and focus on the present moment. Notice how your body feels and observe your thoughts without trying to change them.
Name Your Anxiety: Sometimes, simply naming what you’re feeling can help. When anxiety arises, mentally note it: “This is anxiety.” By labeling it, you create a bit of distance between yourself and the emotion, which makes it easier to observe.
Mindfulness Meditation: Even just 5-10 minutes a day of mindfulness meditation can help you build the habit of BEING. Focus on your breath, observe your thoughts as they come and go, and practice staying present without judgment.
Finding Calm in the Chaos
Next time you feel the weight of anxiety, remember that you don’t need to fight it or run from it. Instead, pause, breathe, and be with it. In that simple act of presence, you’ll find the power to manage anxiety in a healthier, more compassionate way.